Rukia and the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
by fdsa4321
Summary: Rukia and Ichigo watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Rukia plans to re-create the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, with help from the 12th Division. However, things turn sour when the Rabbit goes on a Rampage. Rated T for Violence and bits of Swearing. Update: We're back!
1. The Conception

One boring night, Rukia was drawing Chappy in a sketchbook, trying to create a manga. Later, she got bored, and asked Ichigo what he was doing.

"What are you doing?" she asked, with a slight hint of curiosity.

"I'm watching a movie; it's called 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', do you wanna watch it with me?"

Seeing as she had nothing else to do, she decided to watch it. Isshin came in a bit later, shouting "My son is on a date! Grandchildren, Masaki! We'll be Grandparents!"

Meanwhile, Byakyuya, who was doing paperwork in his manor, sneezed.

Back at the Kurosaki residence, Ichigo kicked his annoying (and possibly drunk) Father, and he promptly fell down the stairs. However, Rukia was eyeing the screen with intense happiness. "Oh my god, it's soooooooooo cute!" she exclaimed. On the screen, there was a rabbit.

Ichigo promptly began to explain the Rabbit's nature. "It's the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog. It kills people, and is vicious."

Rukia's eyes teared up. "But why would such a cute little rabbit kill anyone? I know Rabbits are nice!" she protested.

Then the scene where the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog appears began. Her claims had just been destroyed, right as she watched it.

But, instead of crying, or being angry, she thought about the practical uses of a Rabbit like the Killer Rabbit, like dropping it into Los Noches, and letting it do whatever. And thus, she began thinking about going to the 12th Division's Labs, and seeing if they could engineer a rabbit.

After the scene had ended, Rukia abruptly shouted "I'm going to bed!", and went to Ichigo's closet to scheme. Ichigo didn't really care, and kept on watching the movie.

Little did he know about Rukia's crazy scheme. . .

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I will add new chapters later on.

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	2. The Nightmare Begins

It had been four days, and Rukia was back to Soul Society with her new pet rabbit, named Chappy. She went down to the 12 Division Laboratory, which was considered by many to be an off limits area. She walked inside the Ominous laboratory, where she was greeted by Mayuri Kurotsuchi, captain of the 12th Divison.

"Hello there, Rukia-fukutaicho. Did you bring any dead corpses for me to research?" he asked.

"No, Mayuri-Tachio. But I need you to do me a favor." She replied.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, with a slight hint of irritation.

"See this rabbit? Turn it into a weapon of mass destruction, so we can use it on Aizen's army." She replied.

"Now, be careful, I do tend to go a bid overboard." He cautioned, but to no avail. Rukia was too persistent, and the Mayuri was bored, so he decided to operate on the rabbit to make it into a killing machine.

He didn't know the consequences of his actions.

* * *

After the operation, the Rabbit emerged, healthy and strong, but also bloodthirsty. Since Mayuri happened to be standing in front of the Rabbit, the Rabbit violently attacked him, leaving a very bloody and dead Mayuri on the Ground.

When the rest of the 12th Division rushed in, the Rabbit blew a poisonous breath, killing all but Nemu, who was immune to the gas, and she ran like hell, so that she wouldn't get killed by the rabbit's combat skills.

The rabbit, wanting to eat more flesh, decided to head to the 10th division, not because it was the 10th Division, but because it was nearby, and the Rabbit was hungry.

Rangiku Matsumoto was strolling around the 10th division, trying to escape the horrors of paperwork, when the Rabbit hopped by, waiting for its next victim.

"Aww! It's a cute little bunny!" She exclaimed, before it promptly mauled her to death. Toshiro Hitsugaya, who was looking for her, saw the rabbit eating her flesh, and promptly responded with "Sit upon the Frozen Heavens, Hyorinmaru!" It was no use, and Hitsugaya was promptly killed, and he collapsed, for the rabbit had released a cloud of Poison Ash, killing him instantaneously.

The Rabbit formed wings of ice, and flew off, in search of flesh.

* * *

Guess what the Rabbit does!

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	3. The Bath of Blood

The rabbit landed by Yumichika Ayasegawa, who didn't know about the rabbit's ability, and promptly picked it up.

"What a beautiful little rabbit!" he exclaimed, only to have his face mauled off.

Ikkaku heard Yumichika's screams of agony (if your face was getting eaten, you'd scream, too!), and rushed over, shouting "Grow, Hozukimaru!".

The rabbit, looking unamused, turned the moisture in the air into ice, and sent it at Ikkaku. Ikkaku avoided it, but the ice drained his Reiatsu, and after 3 attacks, he collapsed.

The rabbit, thinking he was dead, flew off in search of more flesh.

* * *

"Ken-chan, it's terrible!" Yachiru Kusajishi, lieutenant of the 11th division shouted to her Captain, Kenpachi Zaraki. "Feathers had his face eaten off, and Pachinko-head was lying down face first on the ground!"

"Sounds like a damn strong opponent to me." he said. "I'll bet this fight'll be better than the time I fought Ichigo."

"Ken-chan, I know the rabbit's around the corner!" Yachiru shouted! Considering Yachiru's sense of direction was worse than most peoples', that was not the case.

* * *

The rabbit landed in the 10th division barracks, and began to kill and eat several unseated 10th division members, but suddenly, Retsu Unohana, captain of the 4th Division, walked in with her Lieutenant, Isane Koetsu.

"Isane, hand me my Zanpakuto, and leave the room."

"Why must I leave, Taicho?" Isane replied.

Unohana smiled ominously. Isane gave Unohana her Zanpakuto, and left the room.

The rabbit looked at Unohana with a look of mild irritation.

"Bankai" was Unohana's reply.

Unohana's blade liquefied, and reformed into a Stronger, crimson blade.

"It's been a long time since I've seen an opponent worthy of my blade!"


	4. The Magical, Icy Battle

The Rabbit lunged at Unohana, but she kicked it away with ease. She proceeded to slash it multiple times, only to be deflected by the rabbit's Ice Shield, which had formed in front of it. In addition, she felt slightly weaker after each slash at the Shield.

Deducing that the Ice drained Reiatsu, she jumped away to perform a Kido.

"Hado #63: Raikoho!"

A blast of lightning electrocuted the Rabbit. It looked at Unohana with a look of annoyance.

Suddenly, poisonous ash filled the room.

Unohana, knowing that this was similar to Mayuri's Bankai, Shunpoed out of the Building, preparing another Kido Spell.

The rabbit flew out of the building, still looking at Unohana with a look of annoyance.

"Hado #57: Daichi Tenyo!"

Debris and the corpses of several dead 10th division members began to float in the air. 5 seconds later, they flew at the rabbit, who had formed an ice barrier to counteract the Hado spells.

Of course, the barrier shattered upon impact.

Unohana shunpoed behind the rabbit, preparing to kill it, but then, she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her abdomen.

An icicle had stabbed her, and was draining her Reiatsu.

She didn't panic, simply breaking the icicle, and attempting to stab the rabbit.

The rabbit jumped away, and continued to hop across the buildings of the Seireitei.

Unohana decided to heal her wounds, instead of chasing after the rabbit.

She didn't know that the rabbit was up to something devious.


	5. The Death of Byakuya Kuchiki

The Rabbit continued to hop roofs, until he landed in the Kuchiki manor Gardens.

He hopped over to a Sakura tree, and began encasing it in Ice. When it was completely encased, the icy tree began to grow, getting larger by the minute. It glowed brightly, with every color flashing in each "petal", because of the ice's reiatsu draining capabilities.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nemu Kurotsuchi and Rukia Kuchiki were running as fast as they could to the 1st Divison, to report about the Rabbit's mayhem.

"How'd you get this idea, anyway?" Nemu asked Rukia.

"I watched a movie with Ichigo. It had a killer rabbit in it." was Rukia's reply.

"So was it a date?" Nemu asked.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I was bored, he was watching a funny movie, and we watched it. No sappy romance stuff, hell, nothing even vaguely romantic!" Rukia replied.

"Ah, I see." was Nemu's reply.

* * *

Byakuya Kuchiki was in his manor, doing paperwork. He had noticed that it was cold, and he felt weaker than usual. "Am I sick?" he asked himself. "No, I was fine yesterday. Surely there has to be some-"

His monologue was interrupted by icy roots bursting through the wall.

Byakuya, knowing something was wrong, shunpoed outside, and saw the rabbit standing on top of a tree of ice.

The Rabbit looked at him, mentally snickering at his appearance. It proceeded to growl at him, as more ice began to form around the manor.

Byakuya's response was "Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Instantly, Byakuya's Zanpakuto became several Pink Colored Petals that began to swirl around him.

The Rabbit, looking at Byakyuya with a look of Contempt, attempted to freeze the air around Byakuya, but Senbonzakura's petal blades shredded it into shaved ice within a period of 2 seconds.

However, Byakuya didn't know that the Ice was able to drain Reiatsu.

Byakuya attempted to use Senbonzakura to destroy the Tree, unintentionally letting down his guard.

The rabbit, who had learned Shunpo, Shunpoed behind him, and bit his neck, causing Byakuya to collapse in pain.

"Damn you, Chappy. . ." Byakuya muttered, before dying.

The rabbit make a quick snack out of his corpse, before tending to the ice tree.

* * *

"Yamamoto-soutaicho, it's terrible!" cried Rukia.

"What's the problem, Rukia-fukutaicho?" Yamamoto replied.

"A killer rabbit has been let lose In the Seireitei!" Rukia exclaimed.

"That seems highly unlikely." said Yamamoto.

Suddenly, Kenpachi and Yachiru walked in, carrying Yumichika's heavily mutilated corpse.

"It's true, look at Yumichika. The poor bastard had his face eaten off." Kenpachi said.

"Are you sure you didn't do that yourself, Zaraki?" Yamamoto inquired.

"Ha ha, very funny Yama-jii, "was Kenpachi's reply. "But seriously, we should do something. I want to fight that thing, it sounds strong."

"Well fine then. Let me get a squad formed. You just wait here." Was the Soutaicho's reply.

* * *

So, whoever can guess the rabbit's ability gets a free cookie! :D

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	6. The Plan to Kill the Killer Rabbit

The Tree continued to grow exponentially high, draining reiatsu from the Entire 6th Division.

However, Renji Abarai, 6th Division Lieutenant, was not the one to give up.

"C'mon men!" he shouted. "We can destroy that thing!" He proceeded to charge at the tree recklessly, and drew his zanpakuto. Several other 6th division members, as well as other Shinigami from other divisions charged at the frozen tree, but immediately regretted their decision once the tree drained their reiatsu. The brave Shinigami collapsed to the ground, and the Rabbit devoured them nonchalantly. The tree was now over 10 meters tall, and other divisions began to feel the effects of the tree.

* * *

A small group of captains and their respective lieutenants burst into Yamamoto's office, where he was discussing the situation with Rukia and Kenpachi. Yamamoto called them to attention. "Here's the plan to defeat that monstrosity. "Soi Fon-taicho, you will attack whenever there is an opening, and get away as soon as possible. Komamura-taicho, Kyoraku-taicho, and Ukitake-taicho, you will create diversions for Soi Fon-taicho to attack. And when worst comes to worst, Zaraki-taicho, Sasakibe-fukutaicho, and I will try to hit that thing as hard as possible and try to kill it. Any questions?"

"No, sir!" replied the entire room.

"Good, let's go then!" exclaimed Yamamoto.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the human world, Ichigo Kurosaki and his friends were called to Urahara's shop. On the way, Rukia's obsession with Chappy was brought up.

"I swear, she has so much rabbit related stuff in my closet!" exclaimed Ichigo. "Posters, magazines, anime series, you name it, she probably has it!"

"How would she even fit all that crap in there?" Uryu said.

"I really don't know…" said Ichigo. "What do you think, Chad?"

Chad shrugged his shoulders. He really didn't know.

Orihime made a suggestion. "Maybe she stores them in some kind of hole in the wall!"

Ichigo thought about Orihime's theory. "If that's true, I'd better check it out soon," he thought.

When they got to Urahara's shop, Urahara informed them of the situation in Seireitei. "A killer Rabbit has been let loose in the city, and people are dying in the thousands! It's horrible!"

Ichigo knew who did this. "RUKIAAAA!" he shouted, and it seemed like all of Karakura town could hear him.

Urahara quickly realized that Rukia had taken part in the creation of the rabbit, and sighed. It was going to be one of those days…

* * *

Well shit, it's been almost two years since I updated this.

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